By DCB Editorial, January 23, 2025
Citroën, owned by Sterile Corporate Monolith formerly known as Stellantis, has unveiled a bold plan to pivot its so-called premium brand, DS Automobiles, into the ultra-luxury market. The problem is immediately apparent: DS is far from premium. It’s essentially a rebranded Peugeot with a DS badge slapped on, as if applying lipstick could magically transform a pig. Citroën envisions DS rivaling the likes of Rolls-Royce and Bentley. Oh yes, I can see those pigs flying already—right past my window.
This delusional blue-sky thinking spilled straight from the mouth of Thierry Métroz, design director of DS Automobiles. In an interview with Autocar (who else?), Métroz regurgitated the fantasy that DS is a premium brand. HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAH!
Excuse me…
Métroz then backtracked, perhaps realizing how absurd it all sounded, by throwing out tired excuses: it will take time, DS is still a young brand, and, well, maybe his dog ate his homework. OK, I may be paraphrasing and exaggerating slightly, but you get the idea.
In the same interview, Métroz shifted his sights to Chinese car brands, accusing them of lacking originality and copying European designs—conveniently glossing over the fact that many of those Chinese brands are helmed by Western European design directors. Oh, the irony.
As if that weren’t enough, he went on to compare Chinese EV brands to washing machines, ignoring the reality that China is leading the charge in advanced EV technology. With remarks like these, Métroz comes across less like an industry visionary and more like a character from a poorly written graphic novel.
Let’s face it: DS will never be a premium brand, let alone a rival to Rolls-Royce. It will always be, quite literally, a capital D and S—Dog Sh**.
Evening all!
