Review: Ford Kuga

The third generation… and that’s the history lesson over with.

We often avoid reviewing Ford vehicles because we believe the Ford brand is akin to a fast food chain. And what do fast food chains do? They spend millions on marketing, making what is essentially unhealthy, GMO-modified, trans-fat-laden food look and taste appealing. But I have to hand it to the fast food giants—at least the food they sell is engineered to taste good. Ford, on the other hand, has always left a bad taste in my mouth.

This review seems to be heading down the drain, much like the cheap, GMO-modified oil used to fry those GMO-modified french fries. But enough of this useless banter, this empty, vacuous talk that belongs in the depths of a pub where people gather to discuss absolutely mind-numbing nonsense.

The Exterior

Let me start with the exterior of the Ford Kuga… there isn’t much to say, except that Ford seems to be terrorizing its designers—holding them hostage and, one imagines, forcing them at gunpoint to design this, not that. And that is as generic and bland as it could possibly be.

Thank you Ford, thank for inspiring the next generation.

The Interior

Things don’t improve with the interior. The fit and finish is generally weak, with creaky surfaces and dash panels that shift under the slightest pressure. The seating material feels like it was borrowed from an entry-level van, and the plastic surfaces not only feel cheap but also look cheap—a classic Ford specialty.

This attachment to cheap materials undermines what could have been a decent, though generic, interior. I did notice a few positive aspects: the overall interior space was good, including the boot space, especially with the seats folded down flat. But one expects that in a mid-sized SUV.

Motoring journalists often bemoan the lack of physical buttons in modern cars, but for Ford, this is a step in the right direction. Why? because they would have used cheap, outdated physical dials and buttons, further cheapening an already drab experience.

That said, it has all the current digital infotainment and instrument systems that track your every input, geo-locating your exact location and everything else you’ve signed away, with or without your consent.

The Drive

The Ford Kuga is available in no less than twelve model gusies. Whatever the model, whatever it is called, it will still be a less than a thrilling experience behind the wheel. How Ford manages to win so many awards is a mystery to me. But despite my negativity towards this worn out brand, I must extend a rotting olive branch. 

At least Ford makes strong, punchy engines that can give the Germans a run for their money, a small glimmer of light at the end of a very long, dark tunnel. However, you’ll never reach the end of that tunnel or see daylight, because Ford’s relentless cost-cutting on engine components will eventually lead to a sudden and unscheduled stop.

The Final Verdict

The Ford Kuga is available in twelve trim levels, with prices at the time of this review starting from £32,095 for the base petrol model, rising to £38,565 for the full hybrid and £40,555 for the plug-in hybrid. Check the link for more details because I am not spokes person for the brand.

Equipment levels are fairly decent, but the sound system in the entry-level model I tested was dreadful—like a tinpot dictator making an inaudible announcement over a withered, outdated speaker system.

I wouldn’t pay £32K to live in misery, and you don’t have to either—the choice is yours. Don’t be dazzled by the inclusion of LED daytime running lights; they’re pretty much standard on new cars these days. Of course, this is an emotional and highly biased review, based on personal experience and years of owning Fords.